Oleg Gadetsky. Offense and pain. Spiritual tests - YouTube
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- 00:03: Sometimes, the heartache is so strong in a person, that he is unable to be grateful, to see what good his parents gave him. All the things you mention here, they strike a chord, but sometimes one is just not able to follow this advice. He reads about forgiveness, learn about it, but when he meets up with his mum or dad, it doesn’t work.
- 00:30: A person cannot even mentally be grateful to his parents, so much pain in his heart. What would you recommend for such difficult cases in a relationship? I am recalling now different situations the likes of which you are talking about. That is, when a person has a very strong heartache, very strong resentment. In other words, there was some time, some circumstances when he suffered these emotions. Sometimes these circumstances are very traumatic, very harsh maybe. This could be someone's very harsh, rude behaviour. Things happen.
- 01:04: You know, I see it time and again – when the resentment is too strong, it is virtually impossible to get rid of. It enters very deeply into our inner world and that is it – you cannot pull it out from there. But I also noticed in many psychological sessions, during my work and consultations, that there always exists this one leading factor, one that literally transforms a person.
- 01:34: It is what's called a prayer or a plea for help. Meaning, when we are completely stuck and confused, there is this so-called “cry of the soul”: “Help me!” That is, an appeal to something Higher, calling out: “Please, help me overcome this!” If such a request is made, then surely, certainly, the following happens – the heartache will be overcome, the resentment will be overcome.
- 02:03: It may not happen right away. It may take half a year or a year, but some kind of psychological dynamic appears, which shift circumstances. Including external ones. And the person eventually gets healed from his heartache. He just needs to ask for help. That is what I would recommend to those who are completely stuck Furthermore, it is said that when a man is in total despair, one indicator of his piety is this, whether he asks some kind of Higher power for help.
- 02:37: The greatest despair leads to the greatest faith. There are many examples in history when the greatest of sages emerged from such despair, from hopelessness, when a prayer arose in the heart. These are not psychological techniques. These are spiritual techniques.
- 03:01: We must understand that spiritual methods are far more powerful than mere psychological ones. So, it can be said that a terrible experience or some very severe trauma in one’s heart could even be a blessing for his spiritual growth? Yes. Because there is nothing bad in our life, but only lessons. Everything that's happening to me is here for my development, no matter how painful it seems outwardly. Here, let us recall from our own memory.
- 03:32: Just recall your failures in life, hardships – there must have been something, at some point. That seemed to be very painful, very difficult to go through. But now, after some time, how do we see it? In many cases we realise that whatever happened to us made us stronger, wiser, more mature. It means that those hardships we went through had developed our personality, made each one of us a better person. That is very important to understand.
- 04:01: See, there is an interesting law: we often judge our life from the following point of view – whether we like something or not. The things we like – let them continue. The thinks we don’t like – let them quickly disappear. And the whole of Psychology, as a method, aims to enhance the former and to reject the latter. That's people’s approach to any sort of psychological practice. Contrary to that, we insist that psychology must be value-oriented. It means that everything that comes into my life is good for me, it nurtures me, it develops me and carries a message of love and life in itself.
- 04:34: If we are wise enough to accept what is going on in our life, then even if there is pain on the outside, there will be no pain inside us, because we keep that bond with reality and recognize that life is our kind teacher. Here is the last example I want to demonstrate. Imagine we wished to develop our body through fitness. We come to the local fitness club. There are many dumbbells and barbells. We start lifting some barbell.
- 05:05: A barbell is heavy, so it is serious work to build your body. Now, let us imagine, that there is no weight in this barbell, that it is light as a feather. Would our body exercise and develop? No. So, even a physical body develops through the resistance to the environment. Resistance is what educates us. Likewise, hardships in our life are nothing but a fitness club.
- 05:31: They are the fitness club of life It means that they develop our character, they allow certain qualities to come forth, real human qualities to open up within us. These qualities, they are a much greater fortune than the little price pay for them externally. The fortune of acquired inner achievements is much greater. Life is a teacher and we are its students. If we were to develop such an attitude toward our life, we would never be depressed. We would never be offended or resentful. We would always grow in any live situations.
- 06:04: Freedom and power come from this understanding that life is my teacher and I am its student. Life is a loving teacher and I am an attentive student who accepts life’s guidance.