Olga Smirnova - Galibina

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  • 00:00:09: Mosfilm Studios Creative Associationof Comedy and Musical Films
  • 00:00:32: Alice Freindlich Andrei Myagkov Svetlana Nemolyaeva Oleg Basilashvili Lia Akhedjakova Lyudmila Ivanova
  • 00:01:00: in the film OFFICE ROMANCE ScriptEmil Braginsky, Eldar Ryazanov Directed byEldar Ryazanov PhotographyVladimir Nakhabtsev
  • 00:01:30: Art DirectorsAlexander Borisov, Sergei Voronkov Work is the most noblething in the world. Thatís why peoplego to work. This is also the only reasonwhy I go to work. Without statistics, we would never knowwhat nice workers we are.
  • 00:02:01: Lyudmila Prokofievna Kalugina, the director of our statistics bureau. She knows her job very well. It happens with some bosses. She comes the earliest of all and leaves the latest, from which it becomesclear sheís unmarried. We call her Meany,
  • 00:02:33: not in her face, of course. MusicAndrei Petrov
  • 00:03:50: Every morning I takemy little rogues to school. Buy one carton of milk,donít forget.
  • 00:04:00: And donít forgetto have your lunch. Now you. Whenwill your stop your pranks? - Everyone is complaining.- I behave myself. Everyone is complainingabout you. - Why did you eat play dough?- With sugar. Youíre a big boy.Big boys donít eat play dough. Why did you lock upMasha in the closet? I locked her up,but I lost the key. Go. And no more puttingglue on the teacherís chair. - Do you hear me?- Okay.
  • 00:04:30: Little devil. My name is Anatoly Efremovich. Last name - Novoseltsev. I live on my salary,from hand to mouth. So I run around like a squirrel in the wheel. Olga Petrovna Ryzhkova,
  • 00:05:02: or simply Olya. Songs performed byAlice FriendlichAndrei Myagkov Olya is my best pal. We became friendsat the university. I like her unending optimism, optimism no matter what.
  • 00:05:31: The world rests on optimists.
  • 00:06:23: Too many peopleliving in our city. Too many guests.Too many cars. Everyone is in a hurry.
  • 00:06:32: Itís all crowds and queues. But I love my city all the same. It is my city. A wonderful city.
  • 00:07:09: This is Vera. She is curious like all women, and womanlylike all secretaries. She earns a modest salary,but wears foreign clothes. Itís a miracle how shemanages to buy all this. And this is Shura. A pleasant woman,but, unfortunately, an activist.
  • 00:07:31: She was once recommendedfor welfare activity, and there is no stoppingher since then. Refreshed by exercisesin the public transport we arrive to our work. Hi. Look, Vova hastorn another pair of boots.
  • 00:08:01: Where can I borrow20 rubles? Wait, I needto buy some pills. Give me somethingfrom a headache. Donít go away. - Pay in 50 kopecks.- For what? Selezneva hasan addition to the family. - I've nothing to do with this.- Who was born? I donít know yet.A boy or a girl. Donít leave!Who hasnít paid up? - Sign for me, too.- Donít leave!
  • 00:08:34: Ugh, what a nasty voice.Where can I get 20 rublesÖ I wish they made mehead of the sector. I would make you one. Youíre a wonderfulworker. An expert. Go to Meany and talk to her. - Youíre the best candidate.- It's impossible. - Letís go?- Okay. - Who was born?- I donít know.
  • 00:09:08: Talk to her. Tell her youírea father of two children. Iím sure she doesnítbelieve in their existence. She believes theypop up from nowhere as ready-made grownups. Yes, but an increasedsalary wonít hurt. It wonít hurt indeed. And itís not only about money.
  • 00:09:30: Iím sick and tiredof sitting at this desk. Iím made for something more. - I can move mountains.- Then go and say this to her. No, I wonít. Iím too proud for this.
  • 00:10:02: Every morning beginsfrom one and the same thing. Itís a tradition. Even a ritual.
  • 00:11:19: Petr Ivanovich Bublikov - head of the public catering sector. Maybe this factexplains his corpulent forms.
  • 00:11:44: Yury Grigorievich Samokhvalov. A good person. We arefrom the same alma mater. All this story beganwhen he appeared in our bureau.
  • 00:12:00: It was an ordinary morning,when our beauties of statistics had finishedtheir make-up procedure and relapsed into a sweet poetic dream of summaries, numbers, reports, plans and calculations. Did you lock the doorwith both keys? Iím not goingto explain anything to you. - We got divorced yesterday.- Yes, and you were quite rude.
  • 00:12:34: - Can I see the boss?- Yes. Wait here. You fried eggs in my pan. And you didnítwash it afterwards. Whatís this crapyouíre smoking. My name is Yury Grigorievich. Iíll call you back. Iím sorry, I took youfor a visitor. - Can I see the boss?- Yes, of course.
  • 00:13:05: Good morning, LyudmilaProkofievna. Here I am. Make a guess, whatdo I smoke right now? Marlboro. From the bossís new deputy. He seeks my friendship.Right now heís with the old hag. I donít care who seeksyour friendship. Oh, I called youjust automatically.
  • 00:13:31: It wonít happen again. A souvenir from Switzerland. An eight-colored pen,for all kind of resolutions. Black ñ ëto refuseí,red - 'to carry out the payment', green ñ the color of hope,blue - 'for consideration'. Thank you. Very clever.Take a seat. Vera. Call for Novoseltsev. - What Novoseltsev?- An uninteresting worker, with no initiative,like many others.
  • 00:14:05: Anatoly Efremovich,come to Kaluginaís office. Coming!Meany is calling for me. Go and takethe bull by the horns. Go and take that job. Iím an empty place for her. ...and get acquainted withthe chemical industry sector. - Yes, and in SwitzerlandÖ- Our best sector. - ...I studied statistics.- And then you should handle
  • 00:14:30: computerizationof the building sector. - The computers in Switzerland areÖ- Yes, great. But here thereís a gap in the light industry sector. Its head Petrunin - left to the Ministry.- Novoseltsev is here. Iím looking for a new head. Bring him in. You may come in. Donít be afraid.
  • 00:15:02: And I want youto pay attention toÖ Good afternoon. - Take a seat.- Thank you. Tolya! - You old devil!- Yura! - What are you doing here?- And you? - I work here.- Whatís going on? - You work here?- Yes. After the university. - What about you?- Youíve become bold! - Not entirely.- Mr. NovoseltsevÖ
  • 00:15:31: Heís my old friend. - WaitÖ- I see. - Mr. Novoseltsev.- Wait a sec. - Iím on business here.- Is this your report? Yes. You should either do itor leave it. Statistics canít be approximate. You used unchecked data. - Why?- No, I checked everything.
  • 00:16:01: Did you take intoconsideration the missing items? Of course. Iím a first-handconsumer myself. And the shops in SwitzerlandÖSorry. Certain items missing in shops due to the laxnessof such workers as you. Kindly redo it. Letís return to our business. As my deputy, you shouldpay attention to the discipline. Itís below the mark here.
  • 00:16:33: - You want to ask something?- Ye-es. - What is it?- WellÖ - I have a question.- What kind of question? - Eh, no questions.- Very well. You may go then. - People are late to work.- Excuse me. Tolya, wait for mein the reception room. Doing shoppingduring their work hours. And there wasan outrageous incident, a most outrageous incident.
  • 00:17:02: In the ladies room someone attached a notice:ëpanty-hose on saleí. - And a phone number.- Dear God. You know whoísMeanyís new deputy? - Who?- Make a guess. - Tell me.- Make a guess. - I donít know. Who?- Yura. - What Yura?- Oh, come on. - The two of you were in love.- Yura Samokhvalov? - How is he?- Fit as a fiddle.
  • 00:17:36: - Oh, my God, Yura!- Olya! Jesus, youíre so handsome! - If only compared to me.- Olya, you havenít changed! Iím so glad to see you! Me, too. Letís go somewhere? I canít invite you to my office. Kalugina orderedto fix it up. A new deputy ñ a new office.
  • 00:18:02: - How is your life?- Iím fine. I live in an apartment,in the suburbs, butÖ Letís go for a smoke. Okay. My son Victor is 14. Heís an athlete. 1st class in long jump. What are you smoking?Be my guest. Marlboro. My husband is all right now, too. He was operated on for ulcerby Prof. Pokrovsky.
  • 00:18:31: The operation was successful. He was sent to a freeresort in Essentuki. He is still there. I live an eventful life. Camping, going to cinematheaters. The smoke of Fatherlandwhich tastes so sweet, eh. Öreceiving guests. - And how are you?- Iím all right. I spent two yearsin Geneva. - A Swiss souvenir.- Thank you.
  • 00:19:02: - How is everything in Geneva?- Not so simple. What about robbing youof 20 rubles, Geneva-wise? - Of course.- Itís against my principles, I usually donít borrowmoney from bosses. - I wasnít signed in yet.- All right then. Iíll return iton the pay day. What a lucky chanceyouíll be the boss here. - You must help Yura.- Help in what? - Well, you knowÖ- Oh, stop it.
  • 00:19:32: A most unrightful thingis going on, because Tolya is justmade for that job. - Olya, stop it.- He is a nice worker, and he has two childrenon his hands. Little children?Who is your wife? His wife left him,him and their two kids. No, it was mewho took them away from her. Hello? It's Novoseltsev......Spitting? Please box his ears for me.
  • 00:20:00: Iíll pick him up later, Iíll bebuying new shoes for him. Thank you.Heís spitting, that little rogue. Well, itís a good idea,to give him that job. Then do it.Youíre a big man here. - Iíll do it.- No. I screw up my report. So, please donít. Maybe I have changedto the worse during these years. No, youíll make a nice boss.Wait here. Please, itísnot the right moment.
  • 00:20:32: - Calm down.- Olya, tell him to stop. He hasnít changed, you know. Yes, and if he goes onlike this, heíll have problems. Tolya, tell me frankly, am I stillÖ likable? Of course, Olya.Youíre all right. Lyudmila Prokofievna,Iíve an idea. What about makingNovoseltsev head of the sector?
  • 00:21:05: So what he messedup with his report? Itís just thathe is made for something bigger. I know him.He is very talented. I can understand your sentiments:old friendship and so on, but we should judge peopleby their deeds.
  • 00:21:31: Good bye. She didnít buy it.But give me some time. Patience, my friends,everything is - under control.- Iíve always believed in you. Itís all useless. Fear not, no familiarityin front of others. I always knewyou were so full of tact.
  • 00:22:03: Iíll go and buysome groceries before theyíre closedfor a dinner break. They chose the badtiming for our dinner break - when all food shops are closed. Well, time changes us indeed. Do you rememberhow pretty she wasÖ Anyway, you and I didnítget any younger, either.
  • 00:22:34: Itís just that with womenitís moreÖ painful. LookÖ I really want youas my friend to take this post, I mean, someone I could trust. I see. A new broom and so on comes with his own team. - And youíre from my team.- Sure. Though, a minuteago I was from no oneís team. Letís come downstairs,I want to show you smth. Vera, call my driver, please.
  • 00:23:04: Thank you,thank you very much. - Push 1, please.- Wait. - You are the bossís new deputy?- Yes. Great. Pay in 50 kopecks. Seleznevahas an addition to her family. - Wonderful.- Nice reaction, eh. - Take the change.- Everything for Selezneva. - Did you pay up?- Yes.
  • 00:23:31: - Are you sure?- Yes! You bought new high boots? Not yet. Just trying them on.What do you think? Too loud.I wouldnít buy them. And in your place I woulddo such things after work.
  • 00:24:03: Means theyíre good.Iíll buy them. Tolya, Kaluginathinks youíre a nobody. Sheís right.Be careful. The mask of ironyis the province of the beaten. But you should findan approach to her. - Whatís her weak point?- She has no weak points. Sheís not young,not pretty. Sheís a lonely woman. She is not a woman.She is a CEO. - Your car?- Get in, buddy.
  • 00:24:34: Wow. A ëVolgaí? Kind of. Get in. A compact little flat. - And what is this?- A Philips, a stereo record player.
  • 00:25:03: - Embedded?- Plus two speakers. Iím going to the Ministry.Itíll take quite long. Mr. Novoseltsev,take care of your report. - Do come to my home party.- I will.
  • 00:25:35: Iím afraid of her.Sheís fierce as a wolf. Iím throwing a partyin the evening. Youíre invited, too.Talk to her, using the home atmosphere. Try to woo her. Otherwise, if I mentionyour name again, sheíll roar at me. How can I woo herif sheís a roaring type? No, itís a great idea
  • 00:26:01: that you shouldtreat her as a woman. No, I absolutelycanít treat her as a woman. I canít do this as a man.Well, I ëcaní, as a man, butÖ Iím not suggestinganything serious. Just 'rush' her a little bit. No job in the worldwill make me 'rush' her. Letís agree thatIím not going to do this and that you will invite Olya. You forgot about her.She'll take offence. - Why Olya?- What do you mean, why? Well, anyway. Come together.By 8 p.m.
  • 00:26:35: Please treat yourselves. Have some tomatoes. Do eat something.It's delicious. You have a nice home.
  • 00:27:03: - I liked your wife.- I agree with you on this point. Hopefully, on points of work, too. - And what is this?- A mobile. - A mobile?- Itís very popular in Europe, you can find itin many houses there. An illusion of movement. The idea belongsto Alexander Calder from America. The 20th century is so fullof high speeds. You come home and relax watching it.
  • 00:27:33: But you should returnto your guests. I canít leave you alone. Donít worry.Youíve good magazines here. All this noise is so tiresome. I like solitude,so please donít worry. - Iíll just sit here.- All right. Have a nice time. - TolyaÖ- Coming.
  • 00:28:01: - Coming.- You glutton. Itís delicious. Use the moment.Sheís alone in the room. - Let her be.- Stop being an idiot. - Take this cocktail to her.- Youíre the host, not me. Why should I do it?I can't. Yes, I know sheís a scarecrow, but you donít needto look at her. - Go.- Iím scared.
  • 00:28:32: Tolya, itís your big moment. - Iím scared.- Go. - Are you all right?- Youíve a classy house. Try this salad. I already did this. I prepareit better than your wife. I add some shredded apple. - You didnít change.- What?
  • 00:29:03: You rememberwhat I was like? - I remember everything.- Me, too. - Tolya!- Wait... Did you hear whatI said? Go now!
  • 00:29:31: - Go.- Oh, my Jesus. May I come in? Come in, Mr. Novoseltsev. - Thank you.- Take a seat. Not here.
  • 00:30:06: - You came on some business?- No. Yes. - Iím all ears.- Have some cocktail. - I donít drink, Mr. Novoseltsev.- Good. Neither do I. Then why did you bring it? To drink it. - ButÖ it was my mistake.- In the line of others.
  • 00:30:47: I want to say that you proved to be a very prudent person. - What?- I meanÖ you are far-sighted. Iím trying to correct
  • 00:31:01: my report. And it becomesbetter and better. My congratulations.
  • 00:31:32: Do you like picking mushrooms? - Picking what?- Mushrooms. Brown cap boleti, orange-capboleti, honey mushroomsÖ Iím indifferent to such things. My condolences. Picking mushrooms is the mostwonderful thing in the world. Take honey mushrooms.They grow on tree stumps, and if you're luckyto meet a good stump, you can gather a basketfulof stumpsÖ ehÖhoney mushrooms. King boleti, orange-cap boleti,
  • 00:32:02: they grow under aspen trees, birch trees and fir trees. In dry summer the mushrooms need moisture, andthey grow in lowsÖ Youíd find a good lowÖ and you gatherbasketfuls of mushrooms. Youíre a such a big expertof mushrooms, Mr. Novoseltsev. Yes, of mushrooms.And my name is Anatoly. I will try to remember.Have you finished?
  • 00:32:31: - No. Yes.- You may go, Mr. Novoseltsev. Well? Why didnít yougive her the cocktail? She doesnít drink. What were the two of youtalking about? - WellÖ About mushrooms.- Mushrooms? - Why about mushrooms?- What would you suggest? To talk about snakes?I tried to woo her. Last time it was mywife that I wooed,
  • 00:33:02: and it was twelve years ago.I got out of habit. Did she understandyou were wooing her? - I think, no.- Yura, did you see poledancing in Switzerland? - No.- Honestly? - Iím not interested.- I would sure go and see it. Have some Swiss cheese,Greek olivesÖ You want to remainsmall fish to the end of your life? But can there be someother way rather than wooing? When I see her,my legs go weak in the knees.
  • 00:33:32: You may sit down then. I donít know whatto talk with her about. About something intellectual.She is a clever lady. Intellectual? Well, intellectual is no problem. Only she wonít understand. All right, Iíll refresh myself and will go to cast pearlsbefore her.
  • 00:34:06: Yury Grigorievich, why wonítyou ask me for a dance? May I ask you for a dance? Youíre just trying to be polite? Do you remember howwe would skip lectures? And how we wentto an ice parlor? You ordered heaps of everythingand then you didnít have enough money.
  • 00:34:31: Of course I remember. I wanted to ask youabout that Bublikov from the public catering section. - He is the head there.- What kind of person is he? A career chaser. Will your wife feel jealous? - Why?- Because of me. Of course she will be jealous. Do you remember uskissing in Kuntsevo park? Now there is no park there.
  • 00:35:01: Of course I remember. What kind of personis that Borovskikh - from the crafts section?- Heís a capital fellow. You know, Yura, we are dancing now as if time has stoppedfor the two of us.
  • 00:35:35: - Iím going to her.- And boost up your intellect. ItísÖ me again.
  • 00:36:02: I think we alreadysaid goodbye to each other. Right. But letís say hello again. - Hello, Lyudmila Prokofievna.- Good evening. May I sit down? - You are welcome.- Thank you. Thank you very much.
  • 00:36:40: Donít you feel bored? No. Iím used to being aloneand I never feel bored. You want me to leave? You may stay if you wish. Thank you very much.
  • 00:37:00: A cigarette? a match?a carton? - Thank you.- If you don't objectÖ Cognac? Scotch?Gin and tonic? Vodka? Didnít I tell youthat I donít drink? Yes, it just slippedfrom my mind.
  • 00:37:33: - Something interesting?- Rather. We are sitting herelike dumb and mute. As if we have nothingto talk about. Letís discuss something. Weíve alreadydiscussed my report and you are notinterested in mushrooms, right? Absolutely. - Are you interested in berries?- In the form of jam.
  • 00:38:05: And in verse, in the formof poetry? Do you like verse? Yes, I do. Really? Great.Letís talk about verse. When I was young,I used to write verse. - And you?- No. - I had no talent.- Nor had I. But let me read you something. Maybe you shouldníttake risks?
  • 00:38:31: No, I should.I want to impress you. - You already did.- I want to intensify the effect. Something frommy early years. To love some is a heavy cross, your beauty is without twists and secrets of your charm explores all mysteries that life enlists. In springÖ In youth you seem to havebeen a lot more talented.
  • 00:39:01: I couldn't even imaginethat your pen name was Pasternak. I couldn't even imagineyou understand in poetry. A good poem,but a nasty recitation. - You know better.- I bet I do. Though, my friends sayIím a good reciter. They lied to you.Youíre a nasty one. Are you interestedin music? Just in any kindof music?
  • 00:39:32: I hope youíre notgoing to play music? - I wanna sing.- How sad. Why? My friends said Iívea beautiful bass soprano. Wait. Are you drunken? No. When Iím drunken,Iím boisterous. - But now Iím quiet.- Lucky me. - What shall I sing to you?- Maybe you better not?
  • 00:40:00: Donít judge beforeyou hear me singing. Iím tired of you, Mr. Novoseltsev. Iíll sing to you and youíll feel better. Quiet is the night, Woodchuck sleeps tight. He hang his ears on the branch after having a lunch. Have you gone mad? Aha, you donít like my singing?
  • 00:40:32: - No, I donít.- What do you like at all? Itís hard to please you. But Iíll try to.Iíll dance for you. Not a modern dance - but something classical. Russian folk dance -Gypsy dance! - And you can sing.- Stop this circus! Okay, Iíll dance and singÖ - Letís fill the glass!- For crying out loud!
  • 00:41:04: Stop it! This is crazy! - Yury Grigorievich!- Come on, Tolya! Take away this hooligan! Whatís going on? Why are you dancing? You donít like my recitation, my singing and dancing,because youíre cold fish,
  • 00:41:32: a dry personality! You areÖ Leave me alone!No one is asking you! You are not human! Let him go on, Yury Grigorievich. You have no heart,youíre only full of numbers. - Let him go on.- Olya, leave me alone! You may fire me,but Iím glad I told you all this in the face! - Iím so sorry.- Go away.
  • 00:42:06: Yury Grigorievich. Thank you forthis wonderful evening. Thank you for inviting me. - Good bye.- Good bye. ...what will happen tomorrow. Good bye, friends. Good bye, Mrs. Ryzhova.
  • 00:42:31: - Good bye.- Good by, Mr. Novoseltsev. Anatoly Efremovich. - Good bye. Let me see you out.- Stop it. Please donít. - Let me see you out.- Donít bother. Iím so sorry. Donítpay any attention. - Heís a good sport.- Thank you for the evening. It was fun. It was all my blame.
  • 00:43:00: - Iím so sorry.- Itís nothing. - Stay in touch.- Okay, okay. I couldnít even imagineheíd behave like this. Please donít pay any attention. - He outreached himself.- Well, itís interesting to knowwhat people think about you. Thank you.Letís go home. See you tomorrow.
  • 00:43:50: We are packed in the buses and trams Our faces are pale and the metro our crowds like smoke
  • 00:44:03: from its mouth would exhale. Or, like butterfliescaught in the snare, We canít hear each otherís voice: We are breathingone and the same air, We are deafenedby the street noise.
  • 00:44:38: To smoke a cigarettewe would stop, Itís a usual busy day. If we push someone with an elbow, We just say sorry andwalk away, And keep moving alongthe streets -
  • 00:45:01: Like a grey unending wall, We go our separate ways And donít care,we donít care at all. Novoseltsev. Personal file.
  • 00:45:38: Nine oíclock Moscow time. - Hi, debaucher.- Hi. What the hellhappened to you yesterday? I didnít sleep all nightbecause of this. You should goand apologize before her. No. How can I appearbefore her eyes now? One should payfor his mistakes.
  • 00:46:00: - Who is this girl?- I donít remember her name. Okay, Iíll go to her. Hopefully, she wonítreceive me. Good morning. Yura! Good morning, Olya. Iím so glad you cameto my place yesterday. Iím standing here,waiting for you. I wanted to saythank you for the party. Oh, yes, it was some party.
  • 00:46:30: - Any plans for tonight?- I'll go home and have some rest. - Good morning, Vera.- Good morning. - Is the boss here?- As always. - A souvenir from Switzerland.- I donít take bribes. - My office is ready. Great.- We know class.
  • 00:47:00: Any plans for tonight? A party? Are gentlemen invited? You must introduce me to someone. Iím a lonely girl now. Vera, please bringall new documents. There it is. Wait here.
  • 00:47:32: Vera, you know everythingabout everybody. Such is my profession. What do you knowabout Novoseltsev? Heís a nincompoop. He lives alone withhis two children. Have you been here for long? Okay, I'll come later. Do you remember LizaLeontieva from the building sector? A comely light-haired girl
  • 00:48:00: with a braid? - She doesnít work here anymore.- I donít remember her. Of course you donít.That girl was his wife, a mother of theirtwo children. And then she walkedout on him. How could she everleave her children. Sheís a mother! A mother?
  • 00:48:32: Novoseltsev was the onewho was a mother. A quiet, soft and harmless person. You will never heara rude word from him. A harmless person, ehÖ Novoseltsev, you are done for. Meany was askingquestions about you. She is studying your personal file. - Sheíll sack me.- For what?
  • 00:49:03: Hooliganism. Vera, maybe she wonítreceive me right now? Wait here. - Itís Novoseltsev.- I didnít call for him. Okay, Iíll tell himthat you're busy. NoÖ Itís not polite.Let him come in.
  • 00:49:35: - So?- You must come in. Oh. And how is she? - Well, never mind.- Good luck. Thanks. How do you do,Prokopya LyudmilovnaÖ
  • 00:50:00: I came to sayÖ YesterdayÖ wellÖ some maggot bit me. I noticed that. I was like a mad dogon the loose. Thatís closer to truth. - Like a mad dog...- Yes. - Be seatedÖ- No. - Anatoly Efremovich.- Iíd rather die on my feet. Sit down.
  • 00:50:30: Thank you. Kindly feel at home. Yesterday youÖdonít move! Öyou took the liberty of calling me inhuman. Donít pay attentionto what I said yesterday. On the contrary, my dear sir. Especially that you represent the opinion of certain people.
  • 00:51:02: You donít say so! You insulted mein front of other people. - It was sheer slander.- SlanderÖ All these things yousaid about me is a lie. I absolutely disagree with you. - Donít be so cagey.- Iím not. Iíll get the hang of you. Please donít hang me. - You said Iím hard.- Youíre soft. - And inhuman.- Human. - Heartless.- Heartful.
  • 00:51:32: - Dry personality.- Wet personality. - Oh, Iím sorry.- Stop - laughing at me.- PleaseÖ IÖ I justÖ It was a slip of my tongue. Youíre not wet,youíre kind! - I look up to youÖ- Why do you hate me so much?
  • 00:52:00: - I didnít intrigue against you.- No, you didnít. - Didnít sack you.- Not yet. - I am paying you all bonuses.- Yes, you are. Yes, I criticized your report, but for a quiteobvious reason. We all love you.Somewhere deep in our hearts. So deep that I donít see it. - But we do.- Stop it! - Youíre so democratic.- Stop lying!
  • 00:52:31: - Stop it!- Iím not lying. When we come to your office, - we feel so inspired.- For the love of God! What are you doing? - You burst into my officeÖ- WhatÖyouíre crying? Öand say foul thingsabout me. Stop crying ñ youíre the boss! Itís none of your business. I know better. Calm down.
  • 00:53:00: Have some water. - May I come in?- Yura, go away. Go away. Weíre in session. - Whatís going on?- Sheís sacking him for hooliganism. Lyudmila Prokofievna,I need to talk to you. Leave us alone!Weíre in session. Stop bossing about here. Iím the one who isthe administratrix here.
  • 00:53:31: - The boss.- Whatever. Iím afraid he hasgot rowdy again. Stop crying ñ whatare you doing? - Iím no baby-sitter for you.- And Iím no crap for you. Anyway, cryingwill serve you right. If you can cry,youíre not so hopeless. Itís okay, Iíll take care of it. Hello?
  • 00:54:03: - Sheís busy. The minister?- The minister? She has no time for ministers now. Give me the telephone,what are you doing? How dare you talklike this to the leadership? A thing unheard of! - Have some water.- You have lost your mind. You hiccup, itís good. They all thinkIím some monster. Not all of them,donít exaggerate.
  • 00:54:31: Youíre not such a monsterÖ Oh, my God,it is unbearable! Go away! I hatethe looks of you! - Is he still there?- Theyíve locked themselves. Maybe we shouldbreak the door? Have you gone crazy?
  • 00:55:00: Believe me, I didnítmean to hurt your feelings. You began to cry,as a normal person, - and it was a shock for me.- Oh, leave me alone! Itís just thatÖ Iím a lame speaker, I have always beenÖ Iím a lame speakerbut not a lame thinker. Anyway, what didthe minister say? The hell I know.I think he didnít get me. I have never spokento ministers before.
  • 00:55:31: What if he wantedme to come? I canít go therewith such eyes and such a noseÖ Just donít rub them. Let thetears dry, and no one will notice. It has been agessince I cried. Though sometimesI feel like crying. But I canít cryall by myself, you know. Itís like an alkie who criesÖ Öwho drinks all by himself.
  • 00:56:02: When you feel like crying, call for me, andweíll cry together. Help me, please. Thank you. Youíre lucky,because you have two children. Yes, a boy andÖ another boy. And Iím all alone.
  • 00:56:30: In the morning I get upand make some coffee - not because I want it,but because I just have to. And then I go to work, to this office which practicallybecame my house. And in the eveningÖOh, I hate evenings, you know. I sit here till the janitorcomes, clinking with his keys. I pretend busy. ButI have nowhere to go.
  • 00:57:00: Home? Only a TV setwaiting for me there. And I canít even buy a dog,because who will walk it out? Of course I have friendsand acquaintances, but they have theirfamilies and their lifeÖ Iíve turnedinto some scarecrow, while Iím only thirty six.
  • 00:57:30: Thirty six? Yes, Iím younger than you. And how old do I look? EhhÖ Thirty five. Youíre lying again,Mr. Novoseltsev. Itís just that your dressing styleis a bit gloomy. You need some ginger. I didnít think about it. Pay in 50 kopecks. For Borovskikhís 50th jubilee.It makes 1 kopeck a year.
  • 00:58:01: Jubilees are notpopular nowadays. Weíll pool money foryour 50th jubilee, too. I wonít live to see my jubilee.My work is hazardous. Very well, Anatoly Efremovich, you may go. Iíve a lot of work to do. And I must find outwhat the minister wanted. Donít be mad at me. - No ill feelings, okay?- I want to apologize, too,
  • 00:58:34: for this outburst of feelings. How are you, Tolya? Mr. Novoseltsev, pay in 50 kopecks. So, did the old hag sack you?
  • 00:59:10: Donít call her like this.
  • 01:00:18: - Are you going?- No. Iíve to finish smth.
  • 01:00:53: Yura, can I havea word with you? Hi, Olya. What about meetingtomorrow in the evening?
  • 01:01:01: I canít, weíre goingto visit our relatives. And the day after tomorrow? Weíre going to ourfriend's birthday party. And two days thereafteryouíll watch hockey, right? Weekends is always a problem. You are my clever girl. All right, go home. You need a break afterwhat happened yesterday.
  • 01:01:30: All right, bye.See you tomorrow.
  • 01:02:56: May I come in?
  • 01:03:35: Vera! Call for this biggest thinker of our timesÖ What do you mean 'who'? Mr. Novoseltsev, of course. Come in, Mr. Novoseltsev. Dear Anatoly Efremovich.
  • 01:04:01: With all due credit, so to sayÖ To everyone accordingto his talentÖ Strange as it isÖ the managementÖ which is meÖ decided to make you,one of the best specialists of Russian statistics -let's call a spade a spade - head of the lightindustry sectorÖ the lightest industry, eh.
  • 01:04:30: What do you thinkabout this idea, Mr. Novoseltsev? I absolutely disagreewith you, Miss Kalugina. I have no initiative, Iím awkward, Iím also too self-conscious,for this, Lyudmila Prokofievna. Iíll screw up the work of the ehhÖlightest industry sector. - Come in.- Thank you.
  • 01:05:02: - Fear not, Mr. Novoseltsev.- Thank you. - Have a seat.- Yes, sir. My name is Anatoly Efremovich. Iíll remember this,Mr. Novoseltsev. You neednít take the trouble, dear Lyudmila Prokofievna. On the contrary. BecauseI consider you to be the most industriousÖ Oh, come onÖ
  • 01:05:31: Yes, a very industrious worker. Dear Lyudmila Prokofievna, youíll spoil me rotten. Everyone has gone home. Youíre the only idiotwho stayed. Youíre absolutely right -an idiot. Because you were rightin criticizing my report. I like your modesty. My modesty is nothingcompared to your wisdom,
  • 01:06:05: - dear Lyudmila Prokofievna.- Iím sorry. - Fine.- Oh, Iím so sorry. Itís all right ñ you wereborn to sit here. - Kindly take your place.- Kindly feel at home. Let's change places.
  • 01:06:30: Why do you consider meto be such a bad worker? Why didnít you leavewith all the rest? Why such enthusiasm? As you said ñ I needto redo my report. And for this you cameto my office? How strange. Well, I thought youídhelp me to redo it. Youíre lying, Anatoly Efremovich.
  • 01:07:00: You stayed becauseyou took pity on me. I allowed myself to cryin your presence, I told you my life story,and you believed it. In fact Iím all right. Everything couldnít be better. Personal life is noteverything, you know. There are a lot of otherinteresting things. Iím head of a big institute.
  • 01:07:32: I love my work. People respect me,someone even fear me. I was at the ministry,and the minister thanked me. So, I donít need your pity - and your chivalry.- I thought that in the morning you were real. But I made a mistake.Itís now that youíre real.
  • 01:08:01: All right. Go home. Go home to your children. Go home, do you hear me? I'm the only one herepicking up a present for Borovskikh, something to please him. Thereís that bronze horseat the antique shop. Tell Novoseltsev to help meto bring it here tomorrow ñ it's real heavy!
  • 01:08:45: The inclemency ñëtis ruled by heavens. Even in a moment of distress Any season, rain or storm or thunder All of themwith gratitude I bless.
  • 01:09:03: My insomnia and joy and wisdom And the change of failureand success Are like seasonsfollowing each other - All of them with gratitude I bless.
  • 01:09:45: Year by year ñoh what a heavy burden Threatening to crush youwith its press. But all my years,all by Nature granted, All my dayswith gratitude I bless.
  • 01:10:03: I bless the gift of loveby heavens granted And the setting sunand all my tears wept Like the last daylived on this Earth - All of this I gratefully accept.
  • 01:10:32: Now itís autumnand the leaves are falling, Time to say goodbye and to confess. All the seasons which are ruledby heavens, All my life with gratitude I bless.
  • 01:11:21: - Am I disturbing?- Of course not. Come in. Will you please passthis letter to Mr. Samokhvalov.
  • 01:11:31: - To him personally.- Itís very urgent. - Please, donít forget.- Itís part of my duty. And donít register it, please. Alright, I wonít register it. - Yura. Good morning.- Good morning. Good morning, Vera. - Is she here?- Yep. A letter for you.
  • 01:12:03: - Thanks.- Vera, come here please. Yes, Lyudmila Prokofievna? - I need to talk to you.- About what? - Be seated.- Iím all ears. I need your advice. You want some morepersonal data?
  • 01:12:30: Well, noÖ You knowÖ I mean...what people wear nowadays? - What do you mean?- I mean, what is fashionable? Why you of all people...Iím sorry. Itís all right. A relative of minecame from a little town,
  • 01:13:02: - and sheís interested.- I see. All right, letís beginfrom footwear. Itís footwear whichrepresents the woman. - Oh, really?- Today high-heeled creepers withstraps are fashionable. Creepers? I donít understand. Creepers are shoes. - Or simply footwear.- I see.
  • 01:13:32: As for high leg boots,gathering - and high heels are fashionable.- Excuse me, I must write it down. Of course. I'll make notes... - You said, gathering of the heel?- No, of the bootleg. Does your cousinhave beautiful legs?
  • 01:14:00: Well, it's justÖ usual legs. Within a norm. Bad legs should be hidden. Where? Under a long skirt. Jesus, this is uproarious! - What's going on?- Count of the inventory. - 43 22 ñ a chair.- A souvenir. - What are you doing here?- 19 06 ñ a chair.
  • 01:14:30: 38 92 ñ a lamp. - 113 ñ a chair.- Look, what a cute lampÖ Wait, what theÖ Table for presidium ñ 4308Ö What on earth are you doing? Performing your order. You're intellectual workers,and so are we. 42 63 ñ calculating machineÖ - Be careful.- Letís go to the conference room. - What a shame!- Vase - 13 48.
  • 01:15:01: Locust people.Marauders. An ink set ñ 13 19. A vase ñ 58 69. Moser. - And what is this?- A three-letter word. Erase it. And also, Lyudmila Prokofievna, combinatorial aspectis very important, too. I mean, combinability.
  • 01:15:31: To put on some cute blouse, or a blazer,on top of a body shirt. - What is a blazer?- A club coat. You mean, for clubs? - For clubs, too.- Okay, Iíll write it down. So ñ a blouse, a blazerÖ Anyway, itísnot the most important thing. For example, peopledonít wear wigs nowadays, right?
  • 01:16:02: Well, thank God. Itís better when itísÖwith a bit of ginger. Wigs is like wearinghouses on your head. With a bit of ginger, yes. So what is left ifthere are no wigs? Your face. Eyebrows becomeof colossal importance. Iím sorry, but sinceweíre discussing this, - take your eyebrows, for example.- Whatís wrong with them?
  • 01:16:30: Itís bad taste, you know. You should declare a warto thick eyebrows! - A war? In what way?- You should pluck them - and thin them out.- With what? Well, with a ruling pen. Ah, I see. - My God ñ it'll hurt!- Bear with it. Youíre a woman. Eyebrows should be thinlike a thread,
  • 01:17:00: - raised in a surprise.- Like your eyebrows? Well, even Iam not the best example. Plucking is only possibleunder anesthesia. But even thisis not the most important thing. How can you know a business woman - from a real woman?- How? By the way she walks. - Because you walk likeÖ- Like what?
  • 01:17:30: Like God knows what. You tie yourself into a knot, you shrivel like an olddown-at heel chukka and plod along to work - stomping like an elephant! But look like we walk! My God ñ you meanthatís how I walk? A woman should havemystery about her. Your chin raised,
  • 01:18:00: Your eyes loweredÖ Here ñ all relaxed. Your shoulders pulled back. You move freely,from your hip. A springy relaxed styleof a panther prepared for a leap. Men are just crazyabout such women. Is it possible to masterthis kind of gait? Even a hare can betaught to smoke.
  • 01:18:31: Nothing is impossiblein this worldÖ - You think so?- Öfor an intellectual. Stand here. Adjust yourself. - Iím afraid I wonít manage.- You will. Donít worry. Your head straight, - Prop up your breast.- My breast? Youíre flattering me. Everyone is flattering you.Okay, tense your butt. - Suck in your stomach.- At one and the same time?
  • 01:19:03: - Tense everything.- Tense everything? And walk towards me! From your hip! Relax! Now! My God, you look vulgar. You waggle your hipslike you know what. - Do you like it?- A beautiful horsie. This horsieis heavy like a mammoth. - It's a real ordeal.- For whom?
  • 01:19:30: For Borovskikhís50th jubilee. Only donít tell him anything! - Where did you buy the goose?- Theyíre all sold out. - Youíre a woman, not a ramrod!- A forgotten feeling. And a playful smileon your lips. Let the men thinkyouíre all right. Breathe freely,boost up elegancy. And no kicking ñyouíre not a maverick. Go on! Smile!Where are you going?
  • 01:20:00: Where are you going,Lyudmila Prokofievna? Lyudmila Prokofievna! Allow us to hide thishorse in the closet. WhÖ what for? Lest our birthday boyget happy before time. All right.Where are you going to hide it? - In the closet.- Will it fit into it? - Weíll squeeze it in.- Shura ñ someoneís calling for you. Okay. Hide this horse.Iím coming.
  • 01:20:30: - Anything more?- No, thanks. Iíll sign everythingthat you brought to me. All right. We'll take careof everything, you're welcome. What have you been doingright now? - PÖput the horse down.- Itís okay. Iím strong. Everythingís all right at home?Feeling well? Why are you asking?
  • 01:21:00: Do I look like an ill personor something? Everythingís all right at home. My friend picked me upwith his ëVolgaí. A Volga? Where didhe get so much money? Money is no problem for him. Heís an aircraft designer.We went to a restaurant. What restaurant? Put it down.Stop clutching it. - I like horses.- What restaurant? We went to Aragvi.
  • 01:21:31: We ordered all kindofÖ eatablesÖ Fried chicken, walnut sauce,shish kebabÖ - Mutton piesÖ- Mutton pies? - And what did you drink?- Khvanchkara wine. - But you donít drink.- Why? A good glass of good wine, in a good companyÖPut this horse down. - Youíll overstrain yourself.- No, I wonít. Itís a little horse. A pony.
  • 01:22:03: And what happenedafter the restaurant? Youíre outreaching yourself. Put the horse down,why are you doing this? - I love animals.- And how did you spend your evening? Modestly.I took a bus and went home. Then I helped my seniorson with his homework, heís eight, and thenI played with my younger son. - And then my wifeÖ- Oh really? - called us for supper.- Your wifeís name is Liza?
  • 01:22:30: Itís too heavy,shall I help you? - Liza with a braid?- Yes. - Or maybe it wasnít her?- No, ëtwas her. You have no wife,Anatoly Efremovich. Why are you lying all the time? Iím following your example. I know that you made upthis aircraft designer of yours. How dare you?Iím your boss. Why did you drop the horse? What are you doing? I fell down.
  • 01:23:02: - You fell down?- Yep. From the horsie. - Stop pretending.- Iím dying. - Stop playing a fool.- Iím serious. Kindly get up andleave, you and your horse. - A bump. It hurts.- A bump? You need a cold compress. - An on-the-job injury.- There is no bump. - It will appear soon.- In this case you need a cold compress. You donít haveto do it personally.
  • 01:23:32: Tell your secretaryto take care of me. Stop treating me as your boss! Lyudmila Prokofievna.Bublikov has died. Why? I didnít issue no orderÖHe died? - Yes.- But why? I donít know yet. Pay in.We must buy a wreath. - How much?- 50 kopecks. For a wreath and an orchestra. If someone else dies orgets born today,
  • 01:24:01: Iíll be left without my lunch. - Put your signature.- One minute, Iím the boss here. Let me pay. Why are you lying here?Why didnít you put - the horse in the closet?- We didnít get as far as the closet. How are you?Do you feel any better? - I? NoÖ- Whatís this? A bump?
  • 01:24:30: No, thereís no bump.Itís all right. Get up. Shall I help you? - Get up.- Thank you. Go and returnto yourÖwork. Yes. My apologies on behalfof myself - and the horsie.- I hopeÖ you feel better, AnatolyEfremovich? Iíll tell you frankly: compared to the deceased Bublikov,Iím just fine.
  • 01:25:04: WellÖ you may go. - Hi.- Hi. Youíre carrying outour plan as I can see? I and my horsie werefulfilling an important task. And we fell down. Yura, did you talk aboutmy appointment with her? There was no occasion. - But Iíll talk to her.- Donít. Forget about it. I changed my mind.
  • 01:25:31: Youíre so strange, you know. Vera ñ tell the bossI have left to the ministry. - Yes?- Alyona? Iím going to tell yousmth, itís a bomb. Thereís that Ryzhovasitting next to you. A bottle bond, yeah,a bag lady. Turn back. Yes, the one withvulgar roses on her blouse.
  • 01:26:05: Yes, so she broughta letter for Samokhvalov. She left it on my desk. I know itís bad to readother peopleís letters, but it was real thrilling.Listen: Dear Yura. I couldnít make upmy mind for a long timeÖ What is gone is gone, butÖ
  • 01:26:31: I know that women in theirforties sometimes do silly thingsÖ Well, she hit the mark here. And I know that youdonít care at all. But when you appeared here,I realized it was you that I lovedduring all these years. Sheís a step away from pension,but she wants an adventure, eh. And this is what I calla sexual revolution! Can you imagine this? She must have gone bonkers.
  • 01:27:01: Only, please, mum is the word. End of Part One