Margarita Bahadova

Saved 3/19/19 7:18 AM to psychology

Михаил Лабковский - Синдром неоконченных отношений.

Михаил Лабковский - Синдром неоконченных отношений.  See details »

 
Video subtitles:
  • 00:00: Good evening, this is Mikhail Labkovsky program adult adults talk about such common situations spouse for many years do not live together and each has his own life but there are common children what is not no divorce there are people already forgot how they look but they are not divorced yet common situations as we had previously taken speak civil spouses or speaking the correct language probably former lovers separated but one of them tries
  • 00:30: be friends with the other somehow not very do you understand what they want from him though to him outwardly offer friendship very common situation it is called unfinished relationship syndrome what it is this is not an opportunity to take reality and attempt to come back and live the past is psychological dependence it is a self-deception situation when we can just be friends or something
  • 01:02: still many of those who are listening now yourself are in such a situation I'm consultation often enough I hear Here is a woman with problems I say you are married she says no further during the conversation it turns out that there is no it's not in her head but actually in passport she is married and she has problems for example, may be due to the fact that
  • 01:32: they do not stack large until personal life can be here too some kind of relationship all this as I said is called the syndrome is not over their relationship to them today let's talk lyudmila for some reason it is written incomprehensibly to what my divorced parents common cottage loved ones again not about this conversation but in second at least in most families where people went at least there common children agree it is more than a common cottage Nicholas 2 years as broke up with a girl
  • 02:03: can't interrupt the relationship so far we and embarrassed each other but because meet this have sex and all repeats again here about we tortured Nikolaev controversial question if you imagine write that you can not interrupt relationship then Statement must speak unfortunately how many times do not return to this situation if the relationship ended then the story
  • 02:36: long enough painfully which people perceive as also as if their love has not passed although to be phrases tormented each other she the understanding that what kind of in fact, engaged in sex and not even certainly not love it is difficult because there is attachment be someone I think that psychologically
  • 03:06: depends and cannot get out of this addiction someone can not accept reality and trying everything back in past but nikolai dear in this situation in first it does not deliver much fun to torment each other and in second you seem to be closed for any other relationship because chew old models here to me it seems that even in this situation, a woman can use a man like that input option in all situations
  • 03:36: why nothing good to disappear woman man well if we take people the real problem or you need to fix the crane, that is, you do you want a little bit this topic in everyday life I said that the river is intimate and msta there is no such thing when really some such relationships support someone here using someone you know because I will say what happens and right what happens and this but I formally had to counseling to face such
  • 04:08: conversations I do not divorce because divorce entails the division of property it will be necessary to divide the apartment and so on although the fact that people no longer live together and they have not gone to the registry office or day depends on whether they are powerful claims minor children and consent to divorce is not fundamental question from this there with their apartment nothing fundamentally changes even brothers can share but me I mostly
  • 04:38: women tend to be more dependent and material from men treats his reluctance to engage in a divorce formally just like fear of losing I do not even know what wealth and the bed marital no money no longer lie on bedside husband somehow pays as a rule , children are up to their feet also has no direct relationship
  • 05:08: I do not know for this and decided to talk for someone to share their history can be the brain can hear some better reasons than me to take a psychological reality addiction and so on Julie writes I advise you not to mess with such men yuli what such you are not clarified squeeze and throw where you hurt and not divorced housing that is, I understood Now I understood how he says July.
  • 05:40: says this curious twist on conversation from what you meet a man at your child the question is free Lena guide I am not married well further in the process of closer communication it turns out the details of what is married really while he may not live his wife already 20 years in could and really not see he could live wife in another country in different cities of countries and so on but he is married
  • 06:11: he is married and not only passport law makes him a family man As such does not consider but yuli here we see such women who with such men communicate Natalya of the bridge speaks about it too convenient option in case the question is they won't marry can we come here show passport stamp say well sorry I'm sorry that even wait a second and then thinks that such
  • 06:42: big lengthy procedures go to dissolve something and i'm just reading sometimes all sorts of psychological forums and I see that a woman of 10 to 15 years waiting when a beloved man divorces my wife every day or there once a month promises that it will be literally tomorrow they are waiting and about that maybe year after year there are such children are born on a funny trick she is called he does not give me a divorce I wanted to see how not to give a divorce a purely practical person
  • 07:12: puts in this sentence that is, how would he want to divorce him spouse does not give him this as can not give I do not know Alex decided joke asked if there is a syndrome finished relationship alexa here word the syndrome is referred to as negative vein and so if they are finished from our sofas are as healthy as any whose story I'm not in this bad or well she just ended
  • 07:42: Well, some kind of syndrome is like natural process is complete and the syndrome is not over their relationship is this what is hanging on people like that makes their status their life is outwardly defined and contributes to really enough problems in life well yes even if Alex in the break in relations blamed myself constantly more ways apologize maybe just see each other
  • 08:13: has to do with syndrome called a of course because if the attitude torn well there is such a common folk the idea that both are really to blame happens in different ways experience is guilty the sense that he once agreed for marriage someone might not be thinking someone then disappointed but it's like responsibility of each side if you look for ways to apologize or experience feeling guilty then naturally your
  • 08:44: relationship is not finished but because you are not accept the fact that your relationship broken and therefore trying to excuse me try something kind to say do you understand if there is no relationship then somehow no motivation to apologize or try find out something and if there is hope for some sort of continuation of deus update comrade some such thought Natasha, here's another such thought
  • 09:15: a man came after all want to apologize and ask for forgiveness because he is trying for something cling i mean he searches in himself some reasons for that justify their weakness cling to that but i say yes what here somehow looking inside yourself for some such here indulgence that well probably his maybe I was wrong and it might be worth apologizing
  • 09:45: want how can be one hundred percent years I will not say more just even he was wrong even apologize give what we what follows from this well this is another clue it yes man clings of course need to understand just what's this attempt at something even before say yes it's a clue you're right because but as they say died so died you're a beast now but with these clues sees already live for years and for decades yes that's it I already said on my opinion is something that can be attributed to
  • 10:16: discharge they are accepting reality when man is not lives real time of your new life trying to live memories all the time old life hello michael that 's what you want to do meet your ex because there is sympathy Ivan here about this we and transfer today's if you already have it passes like the former you need to understand
  • 10:46: that this relationship is over here this history of your relationship she is in the past Of course, no one left at the same time this rarely happens one of the spouses say not ready it scams and secondly the initiative to disperse usually comes from one person before second person maybe everyone loves I don't want to talk there
  • 11:16: keep loving me so much easier psychologist stand up to be psychological dependencies I will even explain why I say this because what if we start about love again but such a plan and if about psychological dependence this problem is just solved ivan and your problems can also be solved because if you already broke up man if man live with you no longer want to do not know may you also did not want at this moment and it was not yesterday that I do not know
  • 11:47: some sort of attempt how people love there in childhood come back Well, something is basically in therapeutic doses are completely harmless and when it becomes obsession and when slivers can go out in their real life is already a pathological problem fedora are divorced. we love each other still . think about the wedding the main thing is not humiliate but understand everything except what's more than not to humiliate such
  • 12:20: I happen to tell stories Elizabeth Taylor two you know yourself times was married to barton but here so you can give this situation 0 and cared at all was pom 1 with times only in case of husband is very difficult as either interpret but if some adequate number of marriages and divorces who say people here at some period life had some status and some
  • 12:50: the relationship here is the relationship ended then when they parted each had their life they somehow lived grew up and they started a new relationship and in new status with new relationships perhaps you can once again come together and continue andrew saint petersburg writes married eight years last year live together we can not when we miss meet once every 2 weeks 1 day second all is good then somehow self it all starts to spoil
  • 13:21: tears whipping dishes scatter apartment and again until next time I can divorce her because we had good times and how is it after all quit and how she will live and alone without Husband's money is not just sorry for her Andrew if your so interesting and big enough message analyze first you write when you miss meet you further write until next time do not divorce
  • 13:52: can we had good times and in late you write me i just feel sorry about what This suggests that in fact there is some reason for which this the nightmare continues but you can't articulate because you and miserable her and bored and good times were necessary decide why you have it all there is especially pleasure from meetings as you yourself write right there replaced by smashing dishes cursing tears
  • 14:23: and so on I don’t know somehow determined by Mikhail Gavrilovich good night and so lived my to outcast I wish you mom grandma ru trading company here he orders after breaking up into a second nightmare hide and seek hide and seek wives understandable here is a child that is now
  • 14:56: a year and a half can't not see him not all according to the scheme of what is there than your question question that this is a general measure Understandably, I went back, we are ready identify after normal folder for You say there is no pro Phones [music] what generally here from the crowd to do as but There are usually several reasons for this. behavior although not relevant to our program is important for one race
  • 15:27: I will answer and the first money as a rule and pskov Statistics, I come across this through or a consultation so as if I know about What do I say as a rule, an attempt to knock out money or housing the second is when the child is small there is a fat ex or her mom's wife together lived moms and dads together without knowing relatives depriving you don't need you bad type affect the child's third situation
  • 15:58: a wife finds herself another child can be and small not necessarily what he very small and she decides now her new husband will be like one dad biological father has nothing to do here anyway you ask what to do that's basically doing everything right the only thing to take is always a lawyer because I myself go to guardianship they are not required talk to you without question court or sue on such situations but even a simple example according to the law of you
  • 16:31: generally equal rights to children that is literally up to half the time you can carry out the child according to court practice you can get a couple of times a month and with a good lawyer you can get also holidays and vacations and holidays so this I am here here the situation is even such a peaceful way negotiate with via world agreement on the order of communication Gleb 42 years there is a multi-tiered syndrome
  • 17:03: unfinished relationship when relationship with ex-girlfriends so until the end is not yet firmly all cases nothing agonizing rather nice zenith once again gleb nice when you are like people from below we friend well and you mutually friendly relationships persist but in most cases it is not true most of the time wants to be friends a man who is really not friends wants wants to return to love relationship since he love nobody
  • 17:34: offers then he talks about friendship in order to I don't know how to be there or get into trust or don't know what else naked you're right it's better to overpay get over the numbers then the book is dead read Olga we can take 25 years seven years living in different apartments meet almost every day I have him help would he immaterial sexual relations you no i don't them want
  • 18:04: and he does not want with me suits me such a relationship is feeling for your husband responsibility by other men I don't want to talk, I don't want to talk at all Natasha even video that there go the first his the message we interview let's not that boiling hot but precisely because they cannot break each other no relationship and you noticed here I am written I help him every day intangible well yes on calvin without comment happens and This is a friend from Montreal
  • 18:35: marriage was fictitious to leave a girl in Canada died really fell in love suffers unrequitedly that do nothing Me here is not done just meekly Natasha writes site classmates is a return in the past is it reasonable you know it no question of reason I love the site more
  • 19:07: classmates So I worked 10 years at school there for me children write whom I taught which can by a 40 well, I do not know if you live there This site is like any other Internet addiction is yes it is a departure from reality if there periodically chat with friends who live behind border or with someone and I don't know yet ok i loved tore up the relationship myself could not stand indifference Andrei
  • 19:39: Oleg from Vologda what is different psychological dependence on love addiction can grow into love well I would not take too much time would say shortly if you compare psychological dependence all as either start but oleg a straight so let's say flawed love such inferior what are you into her pants healthy and such Natali love is a bright feeling
  • 20:09: psychological dependence is flour but yes this is negative primitive yes and then that love light you felt it like we all just accept me without admixture she as if with sturgeon first freshness she is either fresh or rotten they are second freshness love or color did you feel also not love although people are different about someone tragic love someone undivided but the ear cuts psychological dependence is so beautiful
  • 20:40: on hearing so the word love of course I I understand Julia mouse meet with you Now 1 month he spoke about child Now he does not call and I cooled him and write out the name of the thing itself, I reacted lived on it like it used to be or here is the tenth time once again returning you into reality as long as you You write a m with your life from a place not coming off you no new relationship you are not rejoice in the prospect that you have
  • 21:11: keep going pressing a finger on the key is simple losing and this time of spiritual sivy too I read such a study American that they were doing some measurements appearance beauty polls that woman which is going through some what a tragic parting so far until she decides for herself that these the relationship is over she is too bad looks and generally does not attract man as soon as these ends
  • 21:42: her relationship is changing something even appearance is here is really was research I want to say that my opinion of people just on the forehead the example is written freely and not psychologically or non-free that's how whatever they behaved if man inner links here m you meet someone yes with you communicates well and you do not understand that not even you know it feels like a person doesn't free is he they have someone yes about whom he thinks talking to you
  • 22:13: would say so i'm proud written notebook what about these studies here yes this is also interesting because these suffering they do not add joy in look like here such a person depressive tired sad face expression like they say and that's how people say eyes does not burn and burns to [music]
  • 22:43: ask him Michael so take soothing or new I love to look at it, let's divide two issues sedative lift This is if you have about why worry if you mean hotels piercing and for this our in depressed first in the fields I don't think that people affected by unrequited or who finished all the love they are sure
  • 23:13: be patients and psycho neurologists im you just need to drink anti-depressants though there are people who break down which there i don't know alcohol begins begins depression they on Nervous soil there is starting a lot almost had a world they develop your erection's wife’s shoulders so on but you I know all the same
  • 23:45: hold the view that check the predisposition itself the above problems the fact that people broke up this is the catalyst that made these I will bring the potential from position to depression and do not know alcoholism and all the rest is just not open itself imagine this situation is a trauma that you are up to it was so all honest to its pure Now we just erupted all
  • 24:15: positive all of a sudden it happened and everything went the opposite no i think people are boiler predisposition fourth time the game asks the woman me materiality will win this play well where I knowing well does not support you just brags you of course not you someone to share with someone fair 1 further and then I can not understand how good and levy a fairy tale to him pay fur coat live again just played well not 8 door for the fourth time I write for sure
  • 24:46: well before its separate, we are pleased very golden stuck here we natasha decided shad 4 growth to brag you know how good you are light divorced ex-husband does not give money for two common children electric it is very difficult to hurt this syndrome no all this this similarity is not a syndrome I understand what has where the light is said that legally invulnerable people may not show your income
  • 25:17: That's what Natasha is 18 years dimida Our constant smoke from Petersburg Dima you are not ashamed to ask of culture call Meller no, this ambassador domingo shame dima think who are my good friends message without a signature you should miss hello and from yours girl lived for several years constantly
  • 25:47: we had problems very often swore us that time were very close friend friend now we split up why gay and stayed good friends made Berlin vasily but if the girl got it lesbian for it is clear that here also all your love can remain friends So [music]
  • 26:18: release it easier it writes it all easier Mikhail, there is no time for a divorce 10 years as an ex-wife i'm right in offer to be friends in quotes down and secret desires is igor from Petersburg visit on the desire to return relationship I myself sinned it happens the case of Irina Samara when people diverge and marry again and not twice I think that the need for a divorce
  • 26:49: arise when him spouses is going marry the next marriage Alexander of Voronezh took so on 100 grams fits end let's summarize some Well, yes, many believe that people need get divorced when she gives a new marriage join them approach dying writes but I stayed out with such things I'm about this way told when it comes married couple who is right in counseling tries to sex each other the skull and at the same time the magazine before says how many times have I said by now
  • 27:21: divorce and I always say that let's say there go to the cinema if you already regret your relationship already there before the fight comes to daily scandals and impossibilities offer an environment that probably this is a solution to a problem or you decide problems i'm not sure about divorce syndrome not finished them relationships are treated about those relationships which no longer or they are bad they are not over from you have the opportunity to save or
  • 27:53: return family please, but if not then it is better to bring situation until the end I say goodbye boards tonight bye